Day Nine Cont'd
Nov. 10th, 2009 12:48 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mindsplintersWorld: Chaos Crisis
Rating: PG
Word Count: 656
Circumstance: Written at home
If they knew, they would hate me. If they knew what I thought, they would take everything away and throw me into the ocean. It would serve me right, too. I'm not really a nice person, I don't think.
Unless I am and don't realize it?
Junko chewed on the end of her pen and studied the journal in front of her with a small crease appearing between her eyebrows. The purple ink shone slightly damp yet from her hurried, worried scribblings. Slowly, she capped the pen and set it down before lacing her fingers together atop her comforter and settling her chin on top. She closed her eyes, fighting the urge to sigh. Sighs were for melodramatic girls who wanted attention. That was not her.
Well, it was except she had some self-control and could fight the awful, horrible urge. She suspected that was part of being a cool adult. The fact that she had to think so hard about it, though, worried her. Being cool should exist as something natural. She bit back a noise and wrinkled her nose again. Kohaku was cool without trying. So were Haruna and Akemi in their own ways. Izumi was the cool that meant logical and in control - different but still desired. Misora was the same way and Tamaki had her own version that she clearly never worried about. Mitsuko... Mitsuko was just perfect.
The sigh finally escaped her and Junko rolled over onto her back, folding her hands over her stomach now and staring up at the ceiling. How did she do it? What was the trick? She smiled a lot but so did Junko. She was kind. Junko tried to be kind. Actually, she enjoyed being kind. It was nice to make someone else more comfortable and smiling.
Abruptly, the teenager rolled and squirmed until she could slide from the bed. She smoothed her skirt without thinking and moved to pick up the ornate mirror sitting on her night stand. It felt weighty and reassuring. That, at least, was something special she had. No matter how badly she felt for Kyoko's loss and how much Misora and Tamaki hurt, she could not let it go with a free conscience. It was hers and it made her special in a way she had never been before. It scared her a little bit when she thought of all the things she could do and would do with the power. She could protect her new friends and she could save the world. She could be a better person, any kind of person, all kinds of people.
Junko smiled at her reflection in the mirror. Then she froze and quickly set it face-down on the night stand again. Shivers rocked her and she found the edge of the mattress blindly to sit down and hug her upper body. Squeezing her eyes shut, she tried to concentrate on something else, anything else - kittens and scrapbooks and fish. Starting at the thought, her eyes flew open and she scrambled over to kneel in front of the round glass bowl. Minami-chan swam lazily towards her, blinking in a slow and measured manner. Junko settled her hands flat on the table beneath the fish and her bowl and gently leaned forward until she could feel the cool glass against the skin of her forehead. "That wasn't me in there, right, Minami-chan?" she whispered urgently. "That horrible, horrible smiling monster wasn't me, right? I'm not that way. I can't be. I love them and I smile because I love them and..." She felt tears pricking at her eyelashes and whimpered. "And I think I need to stop looking in mirrors for a while. I think I need to go see Kazuo-kun and Mitsuko-chan."
The fish opened its mouth to release a bubble and Junko felt a slow, real smile curve her mouth. Relief flooded through her. She could be a better person. She knew she could. Minami-chan agreed.
Rating: PG
Word Count: 656
Circumstance: Written at home
If they knew, they would hate me. If they knew what I thought, they would take everything away and throw me into the ocean. It would serve me right, too. I'm not really a nice person, I don't think.
Unless I am and don't realize it?
Junko chewed on the end of her pen and studied the journal in front of her with a small crease appearing between her eyebrows. The purple ink shone slightly damp yet from her hurried, worried scribblings. Slowly, she capped the pen and set it down before lacing her fingers together atop her comforter and settling her chin on top. She closed her eyes, fighting the urge to sigh. Sighs were for melodramatic girls who wanted attention. That was not her.
Well, it was except she had some self-control and could fight the awful, horrible urge. She suspected that was part of being a cool adult. The fact that she had to think so hard about it, though, worried her. Being cool should exist as something natural. She bit back a noise and wrinkled her nose again. Kohaku was cool without trying. So were Haruna and Akemi in their own ways. Izumi was the cool that meant logical and in control - different but still desired. Misora was the same way and Tamaki had her own version that she clearly never worried about. Mitsuko... Mitsuko was just perfect.
The sigh finally escaped her and Junko rolled over onto her back, folding her hands over her stomach now and staring up at the ceiling. How did she do it? What was the trick? She smiled a lot but so did Junko. She was kind. Junko tried to be kind. Actually, she enjoyed being kind. It was nice to make someone else more comfortable and smiling.
Abruptly, the teenager rolled and squirmed until she could slide from the bed. She smoothed her skirt without thinking and moved to pick up the ornate mirror sitting on her night stand. It felt weighty and reassuring. That, at least, was something special she had. No matter how badly she felt for Kyoko's loss and how much Misora and Tamaki hurt, she could not let it go with a free conscience. It was hers and it made her special in a way she had never been before. It scared her a little bit when she thought of all the things she could do and would do with the power. She could protect her new friends and she could save the world. She could be a better person, any kind of person, all kinds of people.
Junko smiled at her reflection in the mirror. Then she froze and quickly set it face-down on the night stand again. Shivers rocked her and she found the edge of the mattress blindly to sit down and hug her upper body. Squeezing her eyes shut, she tried to concentrate on something else, anything else - kittens and scrapbooks and fish. Starting at the thought, her eyes flew open and she scrambled over to kneel in front of the round glass bowl. Minami-chan swam lazily towards her, blinking in a slow and measured manner. Junko settled her hands flat on the table beneath the fish and her bowl and gently leaned forward until she could feel the cool glass against the skin of her forehead. "That wasn't me in there, right, Minami-chan?" she whispered urgently. "That horrible, horrible smiling monster wasn't me, right? I'm not that way. I can't be. I love them and I smile because I love them and..." She felt tears pricking at her eyelashes and whimpered. "And I think I need to stop looking in mirrors for a while. I think I need to go see Kazuo-kun and Mitsuko-chan."
The fish opened its mouth to release a bubble and Junko felt a slow, real smile curve her mouth. Relief flooded through her. She could be a better person. She knew she could. Minami-chan agreed.
